It is important for all children to understand what healthy relationships look like, and the best way to teach them is by practicing healthy relationship behaviors in our own lives. This may consist of showing respect in our own relationships, not allowing harmful comments, and rejecting socialized gender norms.

All children eventually learn about sexuality. As parents or guardians we can start having conversations about healthy sexuality with our children early and often so they learn correct information and healthy attitudes. We can teach them from a young age that respect and consent promote a healthy foundation for relationships and development.

When children learn about healthy sexuality at a young age, they have a greater potential to engage in healthy relationships and behaviors. By talking to our children, we are not only developing our relationships with them, but we are teaching them to be agents of their own bodies, needs and desires. Find out more about healthy sexuality and sexual violence prevention by clicking here.

The phrase “boys will be boys” has occasionally been used by individuals and in communities to downplay, ignore or excuse disrespectful and, at times, abusive behavior of some boys and men. Brushing such behaviors aside as stereotypical behavior of boys sends a message to boys and girls that it is okay for boys to be aggressive, violent and abusive, and our use of that phrase encourages that negative behavior to continue. Healthy masculinity incorporates respect, empathy and compassion rather than aggressive, violent behavior. Check out Coaching Boys into Men, a program that focuses on the mentor role of coaches to their athletes and equips high school athletic coaches with the resources they need to promote respectful behavior among their players and help prevent relationship abuse, harassment, and sexual assault.

We can start preventing violence by changing the language we use. Comments such as “you throw like a girl” insinuate that the worst thing a boy or man can be is feminine. Seeing females as “less than” males promotes a culture of gender inequality where violence against women is more likely to occur. Language is powerful; we risk hurting others more easily when we devalue who they are.

We are inundated with violence in the media, and many of us do not take the time to critically examine how it impacts our lives. Take the time to teach your child to think critically about how his/her violent video games reinforce gender inequality and normalize violence. Talk to your child about how their television shows and video games may be impacting his/her own mind and behaviors.

Some people believe that gender-based violence does not happen in their community, or that it only impacts the individuals involved. Sexual violence, domestic violence, and stalking has been described as a silent epidemic; for instance, there is a disparity in the number of sexual reported and the number of sexual assaults that occur leading people to believe sexual violence is not a problem in their community.  The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS) determines that sexual violence is a widespread problem in our country and in our state.  

Gender-based violence impacts more than the survivor; it tears at the fabric of community well-being.  With the knowledge that these acts of violence oftentimes are not reported, consider that some of your neighbors, friends or family members may be coping with gender-based violence at this moment. Think about how we can make our communities an accepting environment for survivors and a safe home that will not tolerate gender-based violence is any way.  Check out the NISVS 2017 Fact Sheet here.